Boundaries. The theme of my year.
I've had to initiate some emotional and harsh conversations this year that would have hurt a lot less if I had just been brave enough to put boundaries in place and had the confidence to stand firm in what I will and won't tolerate.
Better late than never, right?
I still can't get over how much my inability to say no has had such a massive impact on every aspect of my life, but most importantly how people see me and categorise me in their life.
I've held my tongue more times than not, overlooked so much, forgiven and let a lot of bs slide and the minute I've been real with people, letting them know that I will no longer be putting up with certain behaviours or responses, of course how they really feel about me comes out. It's taken me months to make peace with the fact that these people who were once closest to me are now relegated to 'acquaintance' or even worse, 'I don't know where to categorize you in my life'. I know I'll be better for it and I'm making room for people who celebrate me and have a vested interest in me succeeding, but I won't pretend it doesn't hurt.
I've come a long way in a short time span as it relates to this boundary thin but I still have a long way to go since it has spread to every facet of my life in some form. But what has kept me positive and focused on moving forward no matter what, is knowing the woman I see myself becoming, inside and out. I know her strengths, her morals, what she tolerates, her lifestyle and daily habits, her attitude and her priorities.
One thing about me, I'm a bounce back-er. If you knew how many times, like fallen flat on my face you wouldn't believe how I'm still here standing, flourishing, maturing and making it look good too if I do say so!
I've learned that people are curious about that and how I'm so peaceful amongst utter chaos and want to draw close to me to learn how but there really is no secret - it's all God's favour. I'm grateful for everything I've been given and been able to experience. That's why my only goal or resolution for the new year and beyond is to continue making positive strides to be and do better.
That's it that's all.