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Chapter 33 & beyond

If the last two months are anything to go by, my 2023 is going to be challenging but exciting and filled with new people, ownwership, huge accomplishments, life changing events, moments of renewing, healing and recouping.

Grateful in advance for whatever happens.

The way things have completely transformed in the space of two months in my personal and family life, I’m still in complete awe and to be honest, still in a bit of a daze lol.

Life just seems surreal at the moment and in the best way possible.

I’ve been in two minds about continuing with this blog. I initially created it to be a diary and as a healing tool for myself and hopefully others, however, as I go into this next chapter of my life, I want to make every effort to live in the present a lot more. As many exciting and positive moments I’ve managed to capture on here, there’s also a lot of negative moments from my past that have been a struggle to overcome. I’m constantly reminded of them and the reason I started this and it can be conflicting because I’ve come so far. I suppose, flipping it to a positive, you could say that in itself is a great reason to keep going, the fact that I can look back, not to dwell but to gauge the progress and growth.

Also, the fact that I’m starting my own little family makes me want to be extra protective of my privacy and who has access to us. Not entirely sure who or what I feel I need to protect us from just yet - must be the nuturing instinct.

*shrugs* We’ll see.

Bali was the perfect holiday, mostly because it was TIMELY and NEEDED. I can’t articulate it correctly but trust me, if you have the opportunity to go, please go. You won’t come back the same.

It has undoubtedly reignited my need to see the world and truly experience as many things as I possibly can.

Surfing for the first time and quad biking through the jungle, rice terraces and various other sights throughout the gorgeous island were highlights. Just simply being in and by the water did wonders for restoring my peace. However, I cannot finish this post without talking about the ultimate highlight of this trip, this year, this life! Being proposed to!!

Like I mentioned earlier, almost two months later and I’m still on a high, in a daze, just can’t believe I am about to be someone’s wife.

Being proposed to in the most beautiful way and in the most beautiful place… I mean, there just aren’t words that could even come close to describing that.

Although I won’t be posting any intimate photos from the special moment, I will do a dedicated post about what a lot of people don't talk about - how I’ve had to overcome, and still processing feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness and plain old fear when it comes to this new chapter and what it means for me. As someone who has devoutly worked on loving and accepting who I am unapologetically, when it comes to joining forces with someone I intend to be with for the foreseeable future, it's very daunting, especially with this being my first go at it. Things that I hold dear to me such as being a free-spirit, my individualism, my independence, needs, wants, physical space, routines, time, and ventures all have to be prioritised differently than I'm used to and potentially challenged.

So many feelings about it but most of all, I can honestly say I’m excited, I’m in love and so ready to live the life I almost thought I couldn’t have.


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