This is definitely going to be an on going thread on my blog from now on because of the rate in which I'm learning new things everyday in regards to black women and the violence we are constantly subjected to. And not just police violence. I'm frustrated at myself for still not being able to fully capture the dire situation that is so unique to black women.
I'm really shaken up and deeply disturbed by Toyin Salau's story. It's such a somber realization that we can mobilize, protest and literally put our lives on the front line, but unfortunately always to our detriment. I can't confidently say there is any other race that treats our women the way we do, despises them the way we do and undervalues them the way we do. And I say we because let's keep it all the way real, some black women are just as bad as black men in propelling this bs. Gas lighting and the "pick-me" philosophy just catapult this negative attitude and behaviour towards black women and girls who are continuously abused and killed at the hands of black men.
I think I'm at the point where, I've somewhat given up on the idea that black men, as a whole, will get it together, protect and unapologetically stand up for us. Sorry not sorry. There are just too many dysfunctional, opposing and flat out disgusting doctrines that have been deeply ingrained in them for generations for a logical solution to be reached during my lifetime. I'm more focused now on speaking up for and defending women, children and the men in my life currently who I care about at this point.
Of course my heart always breaks for the murder of any black person, I just won't be making it my personal mission to be front and center advocating justice for anyone who wouldn't do the same for me or any woman or girl in my life.
This is huge for me to say this because as a Christian, I want us all to be loved and protected and all that good stuff but I can't ignore what's clear as day. All black lives matter but there's a huge discrepancy when it comes to black females and those who identify as such. Toyin deserved better. Black girls deserve better. Black women deserve better. That's really the part that has exhausted me the most these last few weeks. It's really not rocket science and I can't sugar coat the shit anymore.
I think it goes without saying that I don't hate black men as a whole, despite being hurt and and let down by them more times than I can count. I am very mature in my thinking and won't despise a whole group based on a flawed handful. I'm just choosing to love and support them from a distance while amplifying a group even more marginalized than them.
We have a lot of work to undo as black people, unfortunately it's going to take longer to undo than it was establishing all the dysfunction but the beautiful thing about the journey is that each generation is making more strives than the last. No matter how big or small.
Not really related to this specific post's sentiment, but always relevant:
The ‘Say Her Name’ Movement Started for a Reason: We Forget Black Women Killed by Police