I have this person in my life who is super super close to me and on paper would probably make the perfect boyfriend or husband. However, it's becoming clearer and clearer to me that person and I shouldn't be anything more than what we currently are. It didn't fully register until today just how much this person brings down my mood. The constant debating my thoughts and opinions like I'm not allowed to have them. This person still, after all these years doesn't understand that I'm not always the most practical of people therefore we obviously don't think the same, operate the same or want the same things and allows no grace for that whatsoever. It's beyond frustrating because every other aspect of our relationship is fine. We get along very well when it comes to anything music related, we enjoy spending time together, give great advice to each other. It just seems as though whenever I have a strong opinion about something, it turns into a back and forth when I'm just simply stating how I feel. More often than not, I like to discuss opposing ideas and opinions on a topic, but with this person, it seems to always turn into a full on battle.
"Here's my list of why I feel the complete opposite and now I'm going to proceed to shove it down your throat to show you that how I feel about the topic matters more than anything else"
As I was typing this, we actually just got into a heated conversation over a text he sent me. I just-
And to think, I was feeling so inspired after an amazing poetry event I had just left and now I have to process this situation.
It's obvious I'm still healing from a lot of things, especially relationship trauma and I want to give myself enough room to make mistakes, then make things right but it's really time for a drastic change. I feel like my only option right now is to start being more strategic about not letting anyone who isn't within my immediate family feel entitled to talk to me however they want or demand from me whatever they want. Yes, the threshold just got smaller because my tolerance for being disrespected and having my time and patience disrespected got smaller.
The phrase, "you give them an inch and they take a mile" comes to mind here. So poignant.