.

For the last two months I've created playlist after playlist, drafted post after post, reconnected with so many people, fallen in love all over again, secured a new, permanent job and experienced innumerable emotions with more personal and professional situations. Also had a think piece on Moesha since it's now on Netflix, but that's neither here nor there. None of those things have brought me back to blogging until this week, after text conversations with some of my younger cousins.

I've always had it in the back of my mind that I would love to be for younger girls, family or not, what I didn't have growing up, extremely insecure.

I have a heart for kids, especially girls and fortunately, God blessed me with a looooooooooooottt of younger, female cousins and of course I don't expect to make a difference in all their lives but if I could help a few of them to navigate this crazy world, I honestly think I'd be fulfilling one of my callings. You know, my early teenage years were hard and miserable and I felt sorry for myself from at least 12-15 and if you had told me this is the way my life would pan out years later, I definitely would have been reluctant to believe. And that's all I really try to preach to them. Life is what you make it. As cliche as it is, it's the truth. There's a lot injustices and negativity in this world, yes but are you going to focus on that or try and make a better life for you and yours?

The various convos with my younger cousins reminded me so vividly of how far I have come. They have no idea how quickly things can change and that what is now won't always be, they're stuck in the now and while there's beauty in embracing the moment, we should always be preparing for the future. I was the same way. Wanting my "ugliness" to go away, wanting to have my own space, wanting to be able to buy myself nice things, wanting my family to be back together.

I forget how much of a rush I was in to get out of that awkward teenage phase as well as growing up lacking so many things in my home life. Not knowing or realising that in just a few years, that this chapter of my life would be distant memory (physically not necessarily mentally).

With 2020 being a complete right off for some and how drastically everyday life as we know it has been altered for all, I think we really need to make a concerted and conscious effort to practice gratitude more often and take more time to stop and realise how blessed we are to be alive.